Part Nine (Lives)

Got home after dinner with Chuck last night to a phone message from my Mother. “I thought you may have trained the boys to answer the phone by now.’ Well, this is too much to expect from a kitten. They happily answer the door. But the phone? It boggles the mind. Here’s what it would sound like. Ring.... Caller: Hello?.. Kitten: Eeek ...Caller: Who is this? ...Kitten: Eeek ...Caller: Is this Rooney or Rufus?.. Kitten: Eeek... Caller: Is the Big Cat in? ...Kitten: Eeek ...Caller: Is that yes or no to the last question?... Kitten: Eeek... Caller (getting impatient now): Could you just put the Big Cat on the phone!! ..Kitten: Eeek .....This last Eeek is followed by the sounds of a Sleeman Cream Ale bottle cap skittering across the floor as the hopelessly distracted kitten, who had gone to get me, decides instead to chase the bottle cap across the kitchen floor (way more fun!).Finally, after 3 hours of holding for the Big Cat and hearing nothing but EeeK!! and the scrabbling of kitten claws on a hardwood floor, the caller hangs up in disgust. The worst part? The Kitten forgets to give me the message. So you can see this would not work at all. And forget about the kittens writing their own blog. Just the sight of the mouse would drive them into a frenzy of playfulness. They’d forget to even turn the computer on. Kitten bloggers? I don’t think so. Plus, they’d definitely forget to hit “Save”. My job is safe.