How to deal with a crazed kitten. First, you ask," what do you mean by "crazed"?" Well, it's relatively easy to tell when a kitten has reached this state. He has a slightly disoriented look gleaming in his eye -like he's having trouble focusing on what he's seeing.
"Are you the Big Cat? Or are you the new claw-sharpening apparatus I sent away for from the Sham Wow people?" A crazed kitten also has its mouth hanging open -"what sharp teeth you have, Little Furred Bite-inghood? All the better to bite you with." In this demented state a kitten will often already have its paw batting at you without waiting a decent interval to see whether you approve of getting slashed - say, when you're reading a newspaper. A crazed kitten is unresponsive to commands like, "No", "Down", and "Oh, my God don't claw me there!". And where you might normally give a rambunctious toddler a serious "time-out" to calm them down - you can't even pick up a crazed kitten to take it to its room - you'd lose your hand. Plus, the kitten doesn't have a room anyway. This is why there's no "Take Your Kitten to Work Day". Frankly, you'd need way more security than the G-20 to deal with a crazed kitten in an office setting shredding nylons at will and probably jamming the photocopier, as well. The thought of it is terrifying. xxx dad
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