the kitten chronicles - part 91

Last night Rooney and Rufus and I searched the house to try and locate the "tiny cat-pawed" dinosaur who the boys are convinced is destroying the house. No sign. On the other hand Joanie's closet had been opened - weird. And Sam's squirrel had been posed on the carpet facing me -disturbing. So I'm thinking of getting a guard monkey. Not a helper monkey like Homer Simpson. A guard monkey like they're using in India during the Commonwealth Games. The guard monkey is a bigger menacing monkey who is stationed in front of areas where invading gangs of smaller monkeys might try to terrorize. The bigger guard monkey just sits there and glowers in a ferocious way that deters the junior monkeys. He's like a monkey bouncer. You only have to feed the guard monkey peanuts and he's very happy to sit there. I like peanuts, too. So we could share them. Although, maybe the guard monkey wouldn't like this. The boys do not like peanuts except to bat them around on the floor so this would not be a problem. Anyway the guard monkey could look sternly at the fur-brains if they even looked like they were contemplating any terrorist acts like
smashing china, pictures, or even clawing furniture. Plus, the guard monkey would put an end to the idiotic excuse the boys dreamed up of the the "tiny cat-pawed" dinosaur. If they started that nonsense up again he'd just stare them down with one baleful glance. The best thing is after the Commonwealth Games are over many guard monkeys will be unemployed. So it would be relatively easy to get them to come to Canada and work for peanuts. xxx dad